My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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