I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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