listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
