She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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