so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
