So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
