Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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