if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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