Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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