First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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