Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
It's blow job season.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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