i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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