Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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