dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize