I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
