i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
