This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
