And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
