i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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