And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
He has the fingertips of a God
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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