oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
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im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
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If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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