Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
