there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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