just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
My cat gives me a boner
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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