She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
