My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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