she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
