I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
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