Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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