the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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