I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
