Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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