Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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