I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
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