You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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