she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
