u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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