PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Randomize
