Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
