I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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