you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
