Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
The adults are the big ones right?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
