am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
My liver just had a heart attack.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
