12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
