yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
