nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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