sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
