i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
