Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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