How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
two words...techno handjob
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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