Your dad touched me again.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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