THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
