You work out of a Hotel?
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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