But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
