Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
