The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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